炼金术士Eleanor

I may saythat, with the exception of a few indefatigably cheerful fellows who were consequantly regarded with comtempt by everyone, they were sullen, envious, dreadfully vain, boastful people, prone to take offense and great sticklers forgood form. Not to be surprised at anything was reguarded as the greatest merit.

——A Dead House from The House of the Dead

是否对于世界感到惊奇——是否为了美好的东西感到感动，是否为了生活感到悲伤…这便是人。这便是人。即使和我一样因为最普通的冲突涌起不知为何的仇恨，或者是因为狠狠地伤害了他人而感到窃喜，和我一样因为恐惧而默不作声…这便是人。在牢房中，我渐渐变得精神衰弱，失去的首先是……最后留下恐惧和自我厌弃。这自我厌弃变成仇恨，变成对于除了自己以外的人的仇恨。

 这种事情并不是变态的。是的，我每一天结束时都会因为自己的行为感到后悔。但是，仔细回想的话你就会发现，做那些会毁灭自己，伤害他人，毫无益处的事情，总是要比做其他事来的快活，来的有趣，即使是只有那一刻也是这样。